Friday, March 24, 2017

The Cosmic Yo-Yo Week

Frugal Friday has been interrupted by my week.  I'll get back to the regularly scheduled program here probably tomorrow and do a recap, but this, I felt, deserved it's own post away from saving money and everything that goes with it.

There are weeks that you feel like the world is your oyster, things go great and you feel like the universe is in your corner.  There are weeks that you feel like things couldn't get worse and then they do.  This is like a week where I hit both extremes within the week. 

I took the above picture of Belkar at the vets getting her booster shots.  She started by burying her head in the corner of the carrier into the towel, pretending like things weren't happening and then when she realized things got real, she quickly grabbed the towel with her paw, shot it aside and quickly fluffed and rearranged the towel so she was perfectly hidden under it.  I had to take the picture and send it to my husband as that was a first for me with a cat.

Wanting to hide under a blanket like bad things weren't going to happen is how I was yesterday.

The week started out with the above mentioned vet appointment, which went great, had no surprises and was easy overall.  My husband started feeling bad so he went to the doctor's the same day I took the cat to the vet (turns out he's just has a virus), but it at least turned out alright.

And then we got the call that my husband had gotten the job at the airport!  We're waiting on final okays from Juneau on allocating money for the position but as far as the airport guys are concerned the husband is in!  It's going to be less per hour then my husband is making now, which is a worry in the back of my mind, but I'm determined to make it work as this is the type of job he's always wanted as control work is the part of his job that he enjoys the most.  And hey, benefits!

And then yesterday happened. 

A good friend is dying.  Stage 4 colon cancer.

Not only is she a good friend of mine, she's also Alvah's speech therapist. 

I was, at first, baffled.  Shani has been having problems with her stomach since December.  First they thought she had a bowel blockage, and then they decided on Crohn's disease after a ton of tests and things and they had an appointment at the end of April to get a diseased part of her colon removed to make her more comfortable (and they assured her they were positive it WASN'T cancer) and get her back to "default" basically and she could just start her life with Crohn's.  We went from that to suddenly being in for surgery and then to stage 4 colon cancer with no chance of survival and they don't even know if she'll make it through the summer.

We have no idea how much time she has left.  She's getting a second opinion.  She's going to work as long as she can for not only income but to give people a chance to find another therapist. 

I felt like I'd been hit by a convoy of concrete trucks fully loaded.  I have a decent amount of casual friends, but good friends I can count on one hand and have a few fingers left over.  Shani is one of those friends.

Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day crying and calling on any spiritual network I had to pray for Shani (if anyone has a prayer chain or prayer list please add Shani Dean to it.  Thanks) in the hopes that the second opinion would come back better than the first opinion and maybe the Good Lord had a miracle lying around He could give her.  I have everything from three wards of the LDS Church, to St. Jude's ministry to a order of Buddhist nuns praying for her (my step-mom has connections as she's a minister).  It's the least I can do for Shani after everything she has done for so many people in the world...she is one of those people who would give you the shirt off her back before you even ask her for it, gives her services for free to those who can't afford it and other things.  She deserves the prayers.

I worked yesterday to try and wrestle control from an uncontrollable situation, thus prayer networks and things.  I talked to teachers to get my son into summer school this year so he'll have some type of therapy going, made a call and left a message with our old OT to see if I can get him in once a week there (I don't want him to be without any type of therapy as he could get used to NOT having therapy, which would be detrimental for sure).  I got names of speech therapists people had to give calls and see if I can find openings somewhere, but am not holding out much hope as therapists in the Valley are always booked solid with long wait lists...but maybe God will work to help us with that.  It was a really painful day, to say the least.

Today, I at least woke up with a better outlook, at least I hope I did and am determined to be there for Shani no matter how much time she might have left on this Earth.  A week or a year, it's the quality of the time, not the quantity that matters.  Every day we're gifted 24 hours and if you're lucky you can take advantage of those hours to do something that makes you happy.

Shani wanted to make soap this summer for the first time and was really looking forward to it.  We're doing it next weekend instead so I can be sure she can at least check that off of her "I want to do that" list.  Anything else I can do for her to make her time here's the least I can do.

Shani asked me to take her chickens (she's the friend with the coop) as she wanted her chickens to go to a good home (those are the chickens I chicken sat last year), so this weekend Clark is building a proper coop to house them.  I never even thought about budgets or anything when I said yes and I still don't worry about it.  We'll deal with it.  God will provide.

So, yeah, I didn't want to put this in a "Frugal Friday" just didn't seem right.  I'll go through all of that later once I sit down and tally everything, but I have to say as situational mood swings go...this has been a week.

Hug your friends and family close and seize the day, all.  You just never know.


  1. I am sorry about the bad news Erika. Cheryl

  2. Erika, I'm so sorry! Sending hugs and prayers.


  3. SO sorry Erika. We'll be praying for your friend, her family and that the therapy things get taken care of well. And for you and your family too.

  4. I'm so sorry about your friend, Erika. Sending good wishes and healing vibes her way. I'm so glad that you're making soap! That'll be so much fun.

    Congrats to your husband on the job! Benefits are AMAZING! Less pay per hour will be offset by the benefits, and anyway, a happy husband is worth his weight in gold!

  5. Our former pastor had brain cancer and was given 3 months to live after surgery - in January 2016. He is still with us and has no evidence of cancer. So, yes, second and even third opinions are in order! I was prepared to do that with my cancer, but ended up not having to, thank God.
    I will add Shani to my prayer list.

  6. I am so sorry to hear about Shani. I'll add her to my prayers. You, too, as you cope with this, as well.This kind of story always makes me wonder about Dr.s until I remember that they are human, too. So sad.
    The job news is the best news, yet! Prayer does work!
    Hugs to you and Shani.

  7. I am so sorry about your friend. Life can be unkind, and unfair sometimes. I will keep her in my prayers, and hope for the best.

  8. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Prayers for healing! So happy to hear your husband got the job!! Woohoo that is great news.

  9. I'm so very sorry, Erika. I lost my dearest friend in the world to cancer. Cancer sucks! What I don't regret though is the time we had and our friendship--hang in there. You will see God's grace.

  10. There are no words. I'm so sorry.

  11. Oh, what horrible news. I am so sorry for all involved. I will definitely pray for you all.

  12. I'm so sorry to hear the news about your dear friend. No matter what happens the best act of love you can give her is to be there as her friend. Do the fun things now and the hard things later if needed. You will never regret it. Don't worry about not knowing what to say - just be her friend. And remember her life is no all about the cancer. Take your cues from her. I worked hospice for years and was there when my dad was on hospice. We just hung out sometimes watching westerns on TV. Just being. It was a big expense going up to be with him as much as I did the last few years of his life but one I've never regretted. You are right - Hug your family and friends, enjoy life. Take care and I'll have Shani, her family, you and your family in my prayers.

  13. Adding my thoughts and prayers for you and Shani and your families.

  14. I'm very sorry your close friend is now dealing with cancer. Not an easy thing to face, for anyone involved.

    I too received some bad news this week. My co-worker, a lovely lady whom I've worked closely with and admire greatly, was thrown from her horse on Monday night while pleasure riding. She was transported to a hospital in Toronto where she received tests and is now being treated for a broken neck/spine. They have her in a halo and she is sedated to minimize movement. The good new is she should recover, though it will be a long recovery and they still don't know if there will be long term damage. I just wanted to cry too, when I heard the news.

    I'm very happy to hear your husband got the job he was hoping for, and that it will have benefits. There is always hope that he will see an increase in pay once he proves himself.

    I your whole family the best as your husband transitions to this new position, and as you deal with the fall out from your friends devastating situation.

  15. I am so sorry about your friend's cancer. I will pray for her and for you!

  16. Prayers for your friend. My sister died young from was life-changing for all of us. Her lasting legacy (in addition to her kids!) is I think we all value each day we have here so much more.

    However, a close friend who was given a terminal stage 4 cancer diagnosis a couple years ago is still going strong...the pharmaceutical companies invented a new drug cocktail just about the time she was diagnosed that totally worked. She was among the first people to be treated with it. Health care is crazy expensive but sometimes what they invent truly saves countless lives, and will forever.

    Congratulations on the job for your husband! The benefits will be wonderful and the intangible benefits for all of you probably will be, as well. I imagine it will be a lot less stressful for all. Less stress often equals less illness, plus less stress makes it easier to have the energy to do money-saving I hope you find that you feel "ahead" even though the per hour is less.

  17. So sorry to hear about your friend. :(

  18. I'll be praying for Shani. Love and hugs to you and your family.

  19. Will be keeping Shani in prayer. Glad to hear your husband got the job he wanted.

  20. Prayers for peace in your friendship and finding the joy of this time you can share.

  21. My thoughts and prayers will be with Shani, her family, you and yours. I have been praying that your husband would get the airport job--congratulations I am so happy for ya'll. The job may be less money but it isn't that easy anymore to find a job with benefits. Also having a job that he enjoys and fulfills him will make for a happier and healthier hubby. Sending hugs your way.

  22. I'm so sorry to hear this! My mom's best friends husband started having some chest pain this past Thurs (he had open heart surgery a couple of yrs ago) went to the ER Saturday morning & has a heart aneurysm. He endured 15 hrs of surgery & had 70 pints of blood given to him. He's still leaking blood, they said they did all they can do & the rest is up to him & God. My mom can't even be there for his wife (her best friend) bc she's recovering from a hip surgery & that makes her feel terrible for not being there. So you're right you just never know.

  23. Oh Erika, I am so sorry. It breaks my heart all you have had to endure. Yes, I will send up a prayer for you and Shani.

  24. Hugs and prayers for you and Shani. So sorry to hear this!!! congratulations to your dh for getting the new job!

  25. I'm sorry about your friend. That is very hard.

    I am also glad about your husband's new job. I hope it works out for him and he's happy there.
    Hang in there.

  26. Someone I know posted this on his FB page this week, thought it might be worth an investigation. When he was diagnosed he was given a 2% chance of survival, that was 11 yrs ago and he is considered cancer free. I really haven't read much about it but it's something to do with an alkaline diet.

  27. So sorry to hear about your friend! Tell her to check out the Truth about Cancer with Ty Bollinger and Chris Wark. Both have interviewed stage 4 cancer patients who healed their cancer naturally. Tell her to see a naturalpath.
    Congratulations with your husband's new job!