Friday, March 24, 2017
The Cosmic Yo-Yo Week
There are weeks that you feel like the world is your oyster, things go great and you feel like the universe is in your corner. There are weeks that you feel like things couldn't get worse and then they do. This is like a week where I hit both extremes within the week.
I took the above picture of Belkar at the vets getting her booster shots. She started by burying her head in the corner of the carrier into the towel, pretending like things weren't happening and then when she realized things got real, she quickly grabbed the towel with her paw, shot it aside and quickly fluffed and rearranged the towel so she was perfectly hidden under it. I had to take the picture and send it to my husband as that was a first for me with a cat.
Wanting to hide under a blanket like bad things weren't going to happen is how I was yesterday.
The week started out with the above mentioned vet appointment, which went great, had no surprises and was easy overall. My husband started feeling bad so he went to the doctor's the same day I took the cat to the vet (turns out he's just has a virus), but it at least turned out alright.
And then we got the call that my husband had gotten the job at the airport! We're waiting on final okays from Juneau on allocating money for the position but as far as the airport guys are concerned the husband is in! It's going to be less per hour then my husband is making now, which is a worry in the back of my mind, but I'm determined to make it work as this is the type of job he's always wanted as control work is the part of his job that he enjoys the most. And hey, benefits!
And then yesterday happened.
A good friend is dying. Stage 4 colon cancer.
Not only is she a good friend of mine, she's also Alvah's speech therapist.
I was, at first, baffled. Shani has been having problems with her stomach since December. First they thought she had a bowel blockage, and then they decided on Crohn's disease after a ton of tests and things and they had an appointment at the end of April to get a diseased part of her colon removed to make her more comfortable (and they assured her they were positive it WASN'T cancer) and get her back to "default" basically and she could just start her life with Crohn's. We went from that to suddenly being in for surgery and then to stage 4 colon cancer with no chance of survival and they don't even know if she'll make it through the summer.
We have no idea how much time she has left. She's getting a second opinion. She's going to work as long as she can for not only income but to give people a chance to find another therapist.
I felt like I'd been hit by a convoy of concrete trucks fully loaded. I have a decent amount of casual friends, but good friends I can count on one hand and have a few fingers left over. Shani is one of those friends.
Yesterday I spent a good portion of the day crying and calling on any spiritual network I had to pray for Shani (if anyone has a prayer chain or prayer list please add Shani Dean to it. Thanks) in the hopes that the second opinion would come back better than the first opinion and maybe the Good Lord had a miracle lying around He could give her. I have everything from three wards of the LDS Church, to St. Jude's ministry to a order of Buddhist nuns praying for her (my step-mom has connections as she's a minister). It's the least I can do for Shani after everything she has done for so many people in the world...she is one of those people who would give you the shirt off her back before you even ask her for it, gives her services for free to those who can't afford it and other things. She deserves the prayers.
I worked yesterday to try and wrestle control from an uncontrollable situation, thus prayer networks and things. I talked to teachers to get my son into summer school this year so he'll have some type of therapy going, made a call and left a message with our old OT to see if I can get him in once a week there (I don't want him to be without any type of therapy as he could get used to NOT having therapy, which would be detrimental for sure). I got names of speech therapists people had to give calls and see if I can find openings somewhere, but am not holding out much hope as therapists in the Valley are always booked solid with long wait lists...but maybe God will work to help us with that. It was a really painful day, to say the least.
Today, I at least woke up with a better outlook, at least I hope I did and am determined to be there for Shani no matter how much time she might have left on this Earth. A week or a year, it's the quality of the time, not the quantity that matters. Every day we're gifted 24 hours and if you're lucky you can take advantage of those hours to do something that makes you happy.
Shani wanted to make soap this summer for the first time and was really looking forward to it. We're doing it next weekend instead so I can be sure she can at least check that off of her "I want to do that" list. Anything else I can do for her to make her time here better...it's the least I can do.
Shani asked me to take her chickens (she's the friend with the coop) as she wanted her chickens to go to a good home (those are the chickens I chicken sat last year), so this weekend Clark is building a proper coop to house them. I never even thought about budgets or anything when I said yes and I still don't worry about it. We'll deal with it. God will provide.
So, yeah, I didn't want to put this in a "Frugal Friday" post...it just didn't seem right. I'll go through all of that later once I sit down and tally everything, but I have to say as situational mood swings go...this has been a week.
Hug your friends and family close and seize the day, all. You just never know.